This is my story that I had to write for my great questions. I was suppose to write about what my utopia would look like, but I knew if I did that it be too long so I thought maybe writing about finding my utopia would be better. I hope you like it. If you read my diary a lot you will see how this is me even though it's in 3rd person. And the ending hasn't happen yet, but I hope it to. Enjoy
Orion
There was a young woman who often thought of herself as lost. She would always search up in the sky for the constellation called Orion. She�d look up at it as if she was looking at herself through someone else�s eyes. She knows that she is not who she thinks she is. She is living another person�s life.
She has no clue where she got off the path, but she knows that the one she is on is not the one she was supposed to take. This one was dark and had lots of branches and other things that have fallen onto the path and made it hard to travel on. The one she should be on was light and there is only a twig or two on the path and easier to travel on. She keeps searching for another path that may lead her to the path she suppose to be on, but she can�t find one.
Her life is not the happiest of one, but it could be worse. She is your average girl. She goes to school, has friends, has a job and had a family. The things that are not normal about her are that she is what we call a burner. She burns herself to help her forget about the pain and feeling lost. She knows that burning herself will not make her find herself, but it helps her forget all that she is going through.
Before she goes to bed at night she takes a walk to a near by hill where she can sit and stare up at Orion and imagine what her life is suppose to be. She thinks about how she should be with her ex, going to a different college, studying marine biology and feeling happy most of the time. She stares at Orion with dreaming eyes thinking about how she should be enjoying life instead of the constant feeling of being lost.
When she goes back to bed she can�t help crying feeling that she will never find herself nor does she know why it�s Orion that makes her think that she�s up there. It�s almost like herself that she is looking for is up there as one of the stars the makes Orion. It sounds a little odd, but when you are not sure who you are nor why you feel like you can�t find yourself it will make sense.
One day she got tired of constantly feeling sad and hoping for something to happen. She knew trying to get with her ex wouldn�t happen, but she knew that she could find someone who would love her and care for her greatly. She also decided to look at schools that had marine biology and try to transfer to one of them. She also decided that she did know who she was and that she wasn�t really lost, but just needed to get her life in order so she knew that if she did the few things that she wished there that she�d see herself in them and not feel like she was lost.
With her eyes finally open to the truth and the real her so felt so much better about herself and never burned herself nor did she mop around and just wait for things to happen to her. She knew that she had to go and do things on her own. She knew that this was the key to her happiness. She had found the place that she had dreamed of.
So a few years passed and now she is almost done with her masters in marine biology, she has a wonderful fianc� who loves her very much and she has a job lined up in California to work at Sea World like she always wanted to do. She is looking at houses for her and her fianc� to live in. She has her live the way she always wanted it and she feels at peace with herself. She did from time to time look up at Orion, but when she did she�d smile at it. And knew that she was finally found and in the point of her life that she had always dreamed of.
1:37 a.m. - 2003-04-02
Recent entries:
Change - 2008-03-01
I Guess I Am Eating Weird - 2008-02-24
OH OREGON - 2008-02-21
The Sun is Visiting Me - 2008-02-17
- - 2008-02-12
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